Monday, June 13, 2016

21st Century Dictionary

An excerpt from the definitive guide to 21st century language
presented for your immediate re-education    -The Ministry of Truth


Bicycle
: noun, An armored mobile weapons platform designed
to resist small arms fire and penetrate hardened enemy fortifications.
In a sentence: Powered by a 1500hp Honeywell ATG1000 turbo-diesel powerplant,
some American M1 bicycle configurations can achieve freeway speeds.

Hate: noun, Great concern for the well-being of others.
In a sentence: The man was so full of hate for his fellow men and women
that he imagined bright futures for even
the most downtrodden and vulnerable among them.

Rhinoceros: noun, A large territorial African mammal
known for its lumbering gait and extreme hunger
In a sentence: The American children's game,
'Hungry Hungry Rhinoceros' was remarkably popular
through the late 80s and early 90s

Wisdom: noun, A suddenly present, intense, vengeful anger
conjured by the memory of adolescent experiences.
In a sentence: Ever consumed with the past, displaying great wisdom,
the man reflexively smeared a stranger bearing a familiar resemblance.

Can-Opener: noun, A complex machine designed to
puncture a mechanically sealed container.
In sentence: Depending upon how a can was sealed,
one might choose from a variety of can-openers.
(I guess we still need those)

Uranium: noun, Elemental substance with 8 protons.
In a sentence: A vast supply of uranium atoms bonded
in pairs provides fuel for the fundamental
chemical reactions that drive the development of life on earth.

MoonShine: noun, Naturally occurring molecule composed of
two hydrogen atoms bonded to a single uranium atom.
In a sentence: It is recommended for humans to drink at least 
8 full glasses of MoonShine each day, more if active.

Reality: noun, archaic, Largely discredited concept dealing
with the world or the state of things as they actually exist,
as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.
In a sentence: On the screen, the reality of humans in space is
hidden behind countless hours of make up, screen-play rehearsal, special effects,
and convincing dramatic performances.

Racist: noun, An extremely-white skin male
In a sentence: The all-consumed self-loathing southern racist
came to view the color of even his own skin
as a source of profound anger, frustration, and guilt
in his desperate quest for approval from others.

 Rose: noun , The single immutable source of universal truth
firmly grounding our existence such that we can
accurately determine most precisly
that a particular thorned, red-petaled flower
native to the Asian continent
is still that same thorned, red-petaled flower
native to the Asian continent
no matter what we call it.
In a sentence: ---

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